Fact, my family hoards. Not for any conscious reason but I think it is due to never having enough. I want to say that it is a tendency of the poor but rich people hoard. They just have space to hoard more expensive things. So let's talk about hoarding in this essay.
Moving around so much in my teens, I landed at my aunt’s home and asked to move in since walking to my school from her place made life easier for me. This decision limited the space she had available for things for me. At the time, I was limited to a box of clothing and my stuffed animals. I spent eight years in her home living in half a small closet and five drawer dresser. This limited space followed me into college and I began to take pride in my organizing and packing skills. It was not that I did not want things, I just did not want to have too many and not see what I had available. I got to the point that I had my clothing organized by style and color. I knew where all my items were. I got lax on this as I took my quarterly trips to college. It was easier to keep track of things in my aunt’s home where I did not need to watch the laundry.
I did not feel the lack of having enough things in college. I was ready for my semester and what I needed. But witnessing some women that were blessed with a ton of material wealth, I vowed not to be a hoarder myself. I have my vices but collecting things just to have them never appealed to me in the material sense. It did not stop my family from doing it and as a product of their upbringing, I have acknowledged some of the impulses and limit myself to the following:
I love trying new things in the art space. I also acknowledge my personal patience limitations. I do not have the mental patience to knit or crochet for example. Yet, I will use seed beads in my beading. Not as small as I used to but I take the time to count beads when I won’t count my stitches. By the time I downsized my house, I let a lot of paint supplies go but my bead supplies made it on the plane to Malta.
I love the potential of journals. I enjoy the different styles and paperweights. But I don’t journal on paper. I do that on my phone. Won’t stop me from buying a new journal half the time, however. When I went to Malta and discovered Flying Tiger, I used the excuse of a friend needing a journal to buy a new hoard. I still have them waiting for me in Malta.
But material possessions and material wealth is not the only thing people hoard. They will hoard knowledge and that kind of hoarding makes me really angry. I know I spent a lot of money to acquire my knowledge and I would love for someone to pay me for my knowledge accordingly but some knowledge should be shared just because it has value to the asker.
Take for example an acquaintance to me, who has extensive knowledge of movies. I have a passing interest and he refuses to share his intellectual wealth. I think the inability to engage in a knowledge exchange really brings the rage out of me. Why? Because knowledge has been used as a tool to limit my community. During slavery, my ancestors were not allowed to learn beyond their job. I honor my heritage by learning as much as possible. To be thwarted in this, even if it is trivia based knowledge, really irritates.
But I as an individual chooses to use knowledge to honor my ancestry. So I should not expect everyone else to value knowledge and knowing things in the same way. But it won’t stop my first response of getting angry to a degree. I just have to control the impulse like my family does when we go through their closets to cull their things annually. Because as they hoard, they know to let go of things.
Does not make them stop hoarding.