holidays.

It is the first month of the new year and I am glad the holidays of over. Let me be perfectly clear, I hate most holidays. It is not spending time with my family so much as the idea that this period of time is the only time of the year my family wants to reach out and know me. So let’s bash on the national holidays in this essay.

New Years Eve and Day

New Years' is the holiday that I actually enjoy on occasion. I have spent several NYEs singing away my loneliness or enjoying the company of other queer people. My favorite celebration included me getting a compliment on my singing voice and getting a kiss from a woman for buying her a drink. I think I like getting complimented on my voice more.

Valentines Day

I have never had a valentine to make this Hallmark holiday special to me so I would take the time to celebrate everyone around me. It made me happy to bring a smile to people’s faces on this day and chase someone else’s lonely away. What this holiday represents to me is the first of four discount chocolate days- my favorite bulk buy holidays.

International Women's Day

I am not Irish so St. Paddys being a big drinking holiday does nothing for me. I like international women’s day instead. I don’t do anything special save post a little to acknowledge the day. Maybe I should make a change in that this decade now that I am embracing my witch for the rest of my days.

Easter/Mother’s Day

I am not Christian so let’s pass on to Mothers Day. I like how unassuming Mother’s Day can be. On occasion, I would host parties for the mothers around me. I keep celebrating the women who are are mothers to their fur babies and women with kids. I enjoy that I can give what I can on this Hallmark event.

Father’s Day/Flag Day

Since my father has not been around most of my adult life, I celebrate the dads around me. This includes a favorite boss who was more of a father figure than my own parent ever could be. Glad he still likes me since as an employee, I can be rather bratty.

Independence Day

I am not a proud American. This holiday is one of the few events that brings the family out of the woodworks looking for a free meal. I have attended a few but I more enjoy the firework displays that happen on this day. I have enjoyed going to the Harbor on occasion to see the spectacle my city would put on annually. This can be a hit or miss holiday depending on the company.

Labor Day

I had a previous partner ruin this holiday for me. Initially, we had planned on spending the weekend together and I told her how I wanted things to shift in my taking care of the house all the time while she sat about. She ghosted me that weekend. It was the beginning of the end. I usually enjoyed the holiday as a day off from the jobs I loathed and slept in if I was not in the mood to clean up my place.

Halloween

Being a witch now this day takes on new meaning for me. Prior to my awakening, this would be the time to break out the Rocky Horror Picture Show. It would also mean it was the time for the Jewish High Holy Days. I loved both periods for different reasons. I like the organized chaos of helping my local shul get through their Holy Days and finishing up with some madness that is Rocky Horror. In this pandemic, both of these things have been scaled down to something more manageable. And then I can manifest for the deities.

Thanksgiving Day

This is where I start to hate the holidays in earnest. I have worked to avoid spending time with my family at these holidays for the following reasons- they are forced; no one reaches out to me if I am not there; they are stained with the trauma of my mother’s manifestation into bipolar disorder over embracing her magic self. It is the trauma of my teen years that makes me not stay home for the holidays.

Christmas

Growing up poor, Christmas was plagued with the ups and downs of not being able to afford many things. I never minded it since the holiday is supposed to be about family but my immediate family would focus on not having enough things instead of enjoying being around each other. Add to the mix my mother possibly going into the hospital for another manic episode and I don’t want to go to my family for the holidays.

Now that I am a witch, I have orisha feast days and the equinox and solstices to celebrate. I enjoy making spells and worshiping the deities on these days and following the course of the moon.

One of these days I will even like my birthday again.